Bystander Marsconigrams
From The Arthur Conan Doyle Encyclopedia
Bystander Marsconigrams is a poem written by Harford Worlock published in The Bystander on 25 february 1920. Illustrated by A. H. D'Egville.
The poem mentions Arthur Conan Doyle.
Bystander Marsconigrams
- Those messages from Mars,
- Those wireless S.O.S.s,
- May draw from other stars
- Their answers. These are guesses!
- Winston may wire, "Remember that while I'm
- In office as the Minister of War,
- We've got to have one somewhere all the time,
- What can we fight you for?"
- While Robert Cecil sends communications,
- About the rate of four or five a minute,
- Saying, "Please won't you join the League of Nations?
- We must have someone in it!"
- Swiftly a message flies from Amerongen,
- "I've lived for Mars, so if you want a king,
- I know one seeking an engagement (long 'un),
- Who would be just the thing."
- The next to go is one of Mr. Smillie's,
- "Are your mines nationalised?" he asks, "because
- There's nothing doing if your motto still is
- 'Halves, partner, halves,' as Hawtrey's was."
- "Say, Martians, have you any cinemars?"
- The message travels swiftly o'er the air banks,
- "I'll come up smiling, king of all the stars,
- You must see Fairbanks!"
- The sky grows red as blood. "Have you got lots
- Of submarines and planes?" the message flashes,
- As Jacky Fisher buzzes off his dots
- Well interspersed with dashes!
- Sir Conan Doyle, when asked if he is seeking
- A nice conducted lecture tour with Cook's,
- Replies, "I don't believe it's Mars that's speaking;
- It's probably my spooks!"
